Reqiescat in Pace

Death is a hard thing to deal with in any format and one thing I have always had an issue with even since I was a little child is the commonly used phrase Rest in Peace. I know you are probably wondering what on earth could be wrong with such a nice sentiment, well nothing as such but let me explain. The phrase itself isn't the problem, it's the abbreviation RIP that bothers me and always has. Now I know originally when it was first put into common usage it was simply because at the time gravestone carvers charged by the letter and the original phrase in Latin was "Reqiescat in Pace" and that's a lot of letters to have to pay for and so it became common to abbreviate it. In that situation, yes that makes sense and whilst it still bothers me I can allow it it's place in history.

However, it's more the modern usage which bothers me. Particularly in letters, cards and more recently thanks to the internet social media. As someone who has lost both parents at a young age, i've had more than a few cards and letters of condolences, and even these have had RIP emblazoned all over the card or the handwritten message inside. If you care enough to go to the effort of sending a card or letter in the first place shouldn't you care enough to take that few seconds of extra effort to use the whole words and not an abbreviation, this is after all in memory of someone you supposedly cared about or at the very least someone important to the person you are sending the card to.

But it doesn't stop there, when a celebrity dies or some tragic accident happens and is all over the news so many people are quick to post "RIP *insertnamehere*" as a status update on facebook or twitter and to me this a bit callous and almost insincere - yet again i'm forced to question do people not care enough to take a few extra seconds to type out the full words for the person/people they felt compelled enough to write the status for in the first place?

I understand that some people will be at a loss for words at a time of loss and grieving and will resort to a common phrase so they have something kind to say but I mean come on, it's three very short words and it's not as if i'm asking people to know or even bother to write out the original Latin phrase, but please for the love of all that is good in the world don't abbreviate a message of condolence - especially not to the person who is grieving.

I personally try to write something new and personal for each and every situation where possible, I feel it is my duty as someone remembering the person/people who have passed, to be as respectful as possible and that my words of kindness are one of the last things I will ever be able to do for them and that makes them very important, especially to the person who has to read them and take comfort from them.

I had letters written inside cards from people who Mum worked with, telling me how much they loved her and sharing personal stories and memories with me to give me an extra memory of my own to remember her by and others simply telling me how kind she was. These are the words that people need you to say at a time of sadness, not a lazy abbreviation that fades into the background with all the other identical ones.

Perhaps people are simply unaware of how insincere it truly is because it has become such a mainstream thing to say, perhaps many of these people don't yet understand the pain of loss and the comfort gained from kind thought out words.

Perhaps the world truly doesn't see things as I see them and have shared with you in this blog. But I do, and I will always try to give the fallen a heartfelt and sincere farewell and if I can't find words of my own to do them justice then I will seek help from a great author, poet or perhaps somebody I knew inspired the person who has died.

I shall never abbreviate a final farewell