I wasn't in New York City 10 years ago, but I remember where I was that day and remember watching the second plane fly into the second tower live on the news, watching terrified people jumping to their deaths from the towers live on the television with my heart in my mouth and tears in my eyes. I didn't know my American friends as well as I do today, but just knowing that they might be in danger terrified me. I had grown up dreaming of the things I would do in that city one day, the people I might meet and suddenly the most magical city I had dreamed about was suffering so much and so horrifically and my heart was breaking. Then I found out my cousin and his wife were in the states and had been due to fly to New York that day and nobody knew any more details than that. That was when everything suddenly got so much more real for me, I had already been crying for all those poor people but now a close family member and his wonderful wife were over there somewhere in the midst of all that horror and we didn't know if they were safe or not. Thankfully it was only a few hours before we got a phone call from my cousin to tell us that he was still in Washington and that he was safe. The relief didn't last very long though, my heart was still breaking for all the others involved and I remember wishing there was something I could do and that I could help somehow and feeling so insignificant and helpless because I couldn't.
3 years later I stood at Ground Zero and cried.
I read the names on the memorial that stood at the time, I paid my respects to each and every one of them and with great sadness I found people who shared my name and whilst any relation between us would most likely be hugely removed by time, they still felt strangely like lost family as they had to have gained their family name from somewhere in the past as did my family. Unfortunately I do not remember their full names or how many there were on the list, but I do remember them regardless as I remember everyone on that list regardless of whether I can speak their name or not.
I still remember the way I felt standing at Ground Zero, it was a place full of overwhelming sadness and pain and every second I was there I had tears rolling down my face as did almost every other person I saw near me. Occasionally you would catch someone else's eye as you looked around and in that brief moment there was a brief glimpse of hope in that other persons eyes and presumably in my own as seen by them, just knowing that we were both remembering and honouring those who were gone and that the world still had people who cared. I had lost relatives and family friends at this point in my life but I hadn't truly lost someone yet, it would still be another 3 months until my Mum would be diagnosed with cancer and another 2 years before I lost her, and 3 years until I lost my Dad – so I didn't truly know how the families of the people on that list felt, but now, 10 years later I sit here at home watching the memorial ceremony in tears once again and now whilst I still won't ever know the pain those people felt and still feel – I know how much they miss their loved ones and my heart is with each and every one of them on this day.
Today a new memorial opened, filled with both peace and sadness. Life once again has come to that part of New York, tree's have been planted and gardens will grow. Water runs and at night lights will shine so that darkness never again falls on those who have been lost, names carved into bronze will shine with light from within and they will never be forgotten. No longer will that site be empty or fenced off, those who were lost and never recovered finally have a memorial, a resting place of sorts, a place which will grow into something beautiful and full of life in years to come where friends and family and even complete strangers can sit and remember them and help them live on in their memories.
For all those who lost their lives on that day or because of it, may your spirits soar
For all those who lost someone dear, may you find peace and comfort
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