Poppies for a different kind of remembrance day

I wrote and posted the following article elsewhere last year and I decided to repost it again here with a small introduction. 

Today would have been my Mum's 69th birthday and I'm just about to go out and remember her by doing some of her favourite things, not quite sure where i'm going to go yet but i'm going to go out for an adventure in my wee silver car which she used to share with my sister and wherever I end up i'm going to have a cappuccino and a disgustingly large and very naughty cake... probably a big freshly made merangue like we used to get and share whilst giggling like naughty school kids and on my way there i'm going to listen to a combination of my favourite songs that remind me of her and her favourite Abba album. 

But most importantly of all, i'll be wearing my Poppy and remembering her on this 11th day of the 11th month of the 11th year of this millenium.

Love you Mum x

Poppies for a different kind of remembrance day

by Ross Paterson on Thursday, 11 November 2010 at 01:04

Today is the 11th day of the 11th month and whilst many people remember those lost in battles fighting for our country i remember someone else, someone much more important - to me anyway.

Today would have been my Mum's 68th birthday, and poppies will forever be hers in my eyes. She might not have fought in fields with weapons, but she was the strongest woman i ever had the privilage of knowing and she didn't win her last fight.

Cancer is a cruel and heartless bitch, a scourge on the world and i have lost several family members to it now, none more painful than the loss of my Mum. Taken from me long before her time, just like all those poor young men forced into war to defend our country. I thank them for what they did for our country and I do not mean any dishonour to them when i say this but i shall not be wearing my poppy for them, i wear it for her.

My Mum was a kind, caring woman - not an ounce of selfishness in her body. and the number of people that came to pay their respects at the funeral certainly proved that, there wasn't an empty seat in the church as far as i remember and there were still others that sent cards from over seas who couldn't make it. Hundreds of people were that touched by her life and thought so highly of her. We had a collection for Macmillan Cancer Support that day and we raised more than £800 in her honour! To this very day i am still in awe of how loved she was and i can only hope that when its my time i'll have made even half as much of an impact on the people i encounter along the way as she did.

She did so much for me and for that i will always be eternally grateful, but its some of the smallest simplest things that i miss most of all and i would like to share some of those with you now, like the way she would wake me up singing one of her songs always in the most cheerful of moods. Most parents probably spent many a day yelling at their teenage/student kids to get out of bed and stop being lazy, mine always started my day by making me smile.

The way she repeatedly inflicted  her Abba tapes on me in the car on near constant repeat when i was little to the point where i knew the words and exact running order to each one off by heart... and probably still do! when we got a new car with a cd player instead of a tape player she missed her tapes that much that i bought her an Abba greatest hits cd to cheer her up and resigned myself to the fact that i would never be free of the damn songs but at least she would be happy! LOL

The way she bribed me to go swimming with the promise of a blue slush puppie and then how i stopped caring about the slush puppie cause i just loved going swimming with her - and also the discovery of how much fun jacuzzis were - eventually not a lot of time was spent swimming, Mum trained me well at an early age in the arts of relaxation LOL

My Mum was my best friend, not everyone is that lucky in life thats why i take great pride in remembering her life today and why I will always remember her on this day. Remembrance day may have been designed for a completely different purpose, but i don't think any of those soldiers would have minded sharing their day with such a remarkably spectacular woman.

Isabel Paterson I remember you now and forever, Happy Birthday Mum x

In memoriam, 9/11 - my thoughts and memories

I wasn't in New York City 10 years ago, but I remember where I was that day and remember watching the second plane fly into the second tower live on the news, watching terrified people jumping to their deaths from the towers live on the television with my heart in my mouth and tears in my eyes. I didn't know my American friends as well as I do today, but just knowing that they might be in danger terrified me. I had grown up dreaming of the things I would do in that city one day, the people I might meet and suddenly the most magical city I had dreamed about was suffering so much and so horrifically and my heart was breaking. Then I found out my cousin and his wife were in the states and had been due to fly to New York that day and nobody knew any more details than that. That was when everything suddenly got so much more real for me, I had already been crying for all those poor people but now a close family member and his wonderful wife were over there somewhere in the midst of all that horror and we didn't know if they were safe or not. Thankfully it was only a few hours before we got a phone call from my cousin to tell us that he was still in Washington and that he was safe. The relief didn't last very long though, my heart was still breaking for all the others involved and I remember wishing there was something I could do and that I could help somehow and feeling so insignificant and helpless because I couldn't.

3 years later I stood at Ground Zero and cried.

I read the names on the memorial that stood at the time, I paid my respects to each and every one of them and with great sadness I found people who shared my name and whilst any relation between us would most likely be hugely removed by time, they still felt strangely like lost family as they had to have gained their family name from somewhere in the past as did my family. Unfortunately I do not remember their full names or how many there were on the list, but I do remember them regardless as I remember everyone on that list regardless of whether I can speak their name or not.

I still remember the way I felt standing at Ground Zero, it was a place full of overwhelming sadness and pain and every second I was there I had tears rolling down my face as did almost every other person I saw near me. Occasionally you would catch someone else's eye as you looked around and in that brief moment there was a brief glimpse of hope in that other persons eyes and presumably in my own as seen by them, just knowing that we were both remembering and honouring those who were gone and that the world still had people who cared. I had lost relatives and family friends at this point in my life but I hadn't truly lost someone yet, it would still be another 3 months until my Mum would be diagnosed with cancer and another 2 years before I lost her, and 3 years until I lost my Dad – so I didn't truly know how the families of the people on that list felt, but now, 10 years later I sit here at home watching the memorial ceremony in tears once again and now whilst I still won't ever know the pain those people felt and still feel – I know how much they miss their loved ones and my heart is with each and every one of them on this day.

Today a new memorial opened, filled with both peace and sadness. Life once again has come to that part of New York, tree's have been planted and gardens will grow. Water runs and at night lights will shine so that darkness never again falls on those who have been lost, names carved into bronze will shine with light from within and they will never be forgotten. No longer will that site be empty or fenced off, those who were lost and never recovered finally have a memorial, a resting place of sorts, a place which will grow into something beautiful and full of life in years to come where friends and family and even complete strangers can sit and remember them and help them live on in their memories.

For all those who lost their lives on that day or because of it, may your spirits soar 

For all those who lost someone dear, may you find peace and comfort

I am mechanic hear me roar...

As mentioned in my last blog I know very little about cars, but I am good at learning new things. Any time I find a new interest I jump straight into full blown research mode, I learn as much as I can about the subject as quickly as possible and I’m not afraid to give things a go. So with repair bills looming on the horizon for things I don’t even know where to find on the car I decided the best course of action was to save money where I could by fixing the things I did understand. After a week an a half of research and part locating and purchase I have just embarked upon my first attempt at self taught car mechanics. First I removed the old damaged rear number plate light and then I wired in and installed the new one, which was surprisingly straight forward, but then electrical appliance repair isn’t a new skill since I used to have to do basic repairs when I worked in a hardware store. Number plate light is now successfully replaced and in full working order. Next on the list was the headlight bulbs, only one of which was faulty but I decided it was better to replace both at the same time so they match and don’t still look like one is dimmer than the other. This should have been fairly straightforward but it was bloody cold outside and by this point I had numb fingers and really struggled to grip the incredibly hard to open locking mechanism that holds the bulbs in place. Eventually I managed and swapped out the bulbs for new ones, just as a second flurry of snow for the day started, thankfully the bulbs didn’t get wet and they too are now fully functional and can be checked off the list. Third on the list was the rear windscreen wiper, it had been worn down to almost nothing as my sister hadn’t expected the car to be saved so she hadn’t bothered to replace it so this was a very needed repair. Rather than spend a lot of money on a single blade of the right size, I rather sneakily purchased a set of much larger blades from poundland and cut the generic wiper blade to fit. A little bit more work but not only was it cheaper I also have a second back up for the next time it needs replaced. Another job done and a great way to save a few quid towards the larger repair bills I can’t do myself!

The front windscreen wipers also need replaced but despite several attempts I haven’t managed to remove the old ones yet as they don’t seem to match the how to diagrams in the car manual and as I don’t want to be heavy handed and end up breaking something I’m going to leave them for now and get my brother in law to help me in the morning before we go to the garage for the rest of the repairs.

In the grand scheme of things, its certainly not a huge deal for a proper car mechanic to do the work I’ve done today and it would probably only take about a quarter of the time it took me – but I have to say I feel great knowing that I’ve done it myself. I always get a great sense of satisfaction when I manage to do something myself but this time in particular is even better since its something I never thought I would ever do and knowing that Dad would have been proud of me for even attempting it means more to me than the fact I managed to do the work in the first place.

Beep Beep....

I don’t know much about cars, never have. I like VW Beetles because of a childhood love of Herbie, I like the old VW Campervans because the beetle obsession grew and spread to the only other retro cool part of the VW family – and admittedly because it also really suits my inner hippy. I know what I like and a bit about them specifically, but that’s about the sum of my car knowledge really. My Dad loved cars his whole life, he took a job as an undertaker at age 18 purely because it meant he got to drive a Rolls Royce. He trained in various apprenticeships in vehicle panel beating, vehicle spray painting and I don’t remember the specifics but he probably did a general mechanic one as well since he certainly knew what he was doing under the bonnet. He bought me hundreds of toy cars when I was a kid, determined he was going to have his love of cars rub off on me but Herbie was his only success. I think it really disappointed him that I didn’t share his love of cars, and that I never really had any interest in learning to drive either. I only really got my provisional licence as a source of photographic ID but I wish I’d learned a lot sooner. My Dad also had his own driver training company, teaching people how to drive lorries and buses, and as much as I know we would have wanted to kill each other during the process I wish I’d had the opportunity to learn how to drive from him.

Despite my early disdain for driving I did eventually start lessons and after many failed tests I finally passed on the 8^th of February this year. A cause for great celebration as the lack of a driving licence had cost me several jobs in my career field due to simply not being able to get to the locations or the job requiring you to be able to drive. So here I am I have my licence, my sister has finally given me her car which she had been holding onto a lot longer than she planned for this very reason and I finally have my transport related freedom… or so I thought.

It turned out it took so long for me to pass that my lovely little car has gotten a bit ill, and it requires a lot of work to keep it healthy. My sister suggested trading it in for a slightly newer car with less issues but everything we looked at despite being newer and considerably more expensive they were all pretty much in a much sorrier state than my little clio. It’s amazing what a difference it makes to a car when its been looked after, my sister is a really safe driver, a touch paranoid due to an accident which was caused by a brand new tyre with a fault blowing out at a relatively high speed and causing the car she was in to crash quite badly. Her experience made her an even more sensible and safe driver so this car I have inherited has been well loved over the last 9 years that she’s owned it. It also helps that for the last 2 or 3 years now she’s had a boyfriend who’s a mechanic and he’s looked after it and serviced it regularly too. So I have decided to try to save my little clio and its been inspected and the list of repairs to pass its mot isn’t too big and should be relatively cheap and all the other problems can be fixed after that to prolong its life. It might be a 10 year old car but several mechanics have looked at it and have been quite impressed by its condition for the age, so I’m giving it the best chance I possibly can to keep it in the family just a little longer. When my sister was in Australia for a year she left the car with my Mum so she could have her own little run about for fun days out instead of having to use Dad’s much larger car which she was perfectly fine driving but wasn’t very keen on. I have a lot of great memories and days out with Mum in that little clio including several trips to Ikea which coincidentally was one of the first places I drove myself to in it after I got my own licence. Mum loved this little car and so do I, even more so because it was so important to her and comes with plenty of happy memories.

I know that the length of time the car will last even with the repairs is uncertain and spending money on repairs only to have it die a week later anyway is a definite possibility due to the nature of the problems a car this old has… but I also have hope and faith in just how good this little car is so I am happy to take that risk, to give it another chance and even if I only get one more year out of it then I’ll be happy knowing that I was right not to give up on it today.

I may still not know much about cars, but I’m pretty sure Dad would be proud of me for not taking the easy route and being prepared to have to do work on the car myself, and I know he would have loved to spend hours outside working on it with me so I’m going to get the relevant Haynes manual for this model and I’m going to learn how to maintain it myself… well the little things anyway, I’m gonna stick to letting the professionals deal with the serious stuff just to be on the safe side!

I went outside to wash the windscreen earlier so that I could treat the glass with a special product that helps rain run off faster keeping the screen clearer and making visibility better and without meaning to I got carried away and before I knew what I was doing I had washed the whole car from top to bottom and scrubbed off all the dirt, so its all very nice and clean now. I certainly didn’t expect to turn into one of those take pride in washing the car by hand types of people, but I was really proud of myself after I was finished and it was nice to feel that way about…. My car!


This blog was written on February 28th but due to an unnoticed error during publishing it failed to go online, it has therefore been reposted today.

Reduce, Reuse and Recycle!

In today’s world where people are finally realising the planets resources are finite and that being wasteful is nothing short of insanity. You could even call being wasteful selfish due to the implications it has for future generations of both our species and all the others we share this planet with.

So what are we doing to prevent it, amongst the various energy efficient technological advances it’s the simple things that impress me most. Large supermarkets and other chain stores introduced reusable fabric bags and some even offered bonus points on their loyalty card schemes for using them instead of the billions of plastic bags used previously. I remember lots of people I know saying that they were a hassle or that expecting people to purchase reusable bags wouldn’t catch on – I find it quite amusing that they were wrong and that they too take pride in the various bags they now own, with some even owning ones designed and sold by brand name or designer companies. Me I’m never without my bags, several small lightweight ones which fold up into a tiny little pouch and a few much larger ones which hold a decent amount of heavy groceries – nothing fancy, just simple and practical.

Recycling isn’t exactly a new concept, there have been collection points and centres around for as long as I can remember – but a common excuse was that it was too much hassle to separate items and then take them all the way to the collection points. That changed when local councils started offering recycling collections from your own kerb, now we have 3 bins where I live – one for regular trash, a blue one for recyclables such as paper, metal and plastics and a red bin for glass. Normal and Blue bins are collected alternating weeks and I regularly don’t need to put out my normal bin due to how little actual rubbish I produce. My Blue recycling bin is almost always full when collection day comes around with another pile sitting in the house waiting to go into the bin as soon as its been emptied. I take great pride in doing my part and recycling as much as possible.

Charity shops also became popular again recently, every year there must be billions of perfectly good condition and wearable clothes sent to landfills purely because the owner read in some magazine that “stripes are so last season” or “jeans should be straight leg and not boot cut” – not only is this a ridiculous waste of resources, there are lots of people with little to no income who struggle to put food on the table who simply can’t afford luxuries like new clothes. I know people who would give me a dirty look for daring to suggest they went into a charity shop to look for new clothes, saying things like its disgusting or unsanitary… how is it any different to borrowing a friends or family members clothes? Everything is washed or dry cleaned before it goes out on shelves of reputable charity shops and most people who plan to donate something will usually wash the items first to make them suitable for donation. I grew up in a family who weren’t wealthy but I never went without anything that I needed, If anything despite not being wealthy I would say I was still pretty spoiled at times. I come from a large family and my sisters were starting college when I was born and most of my cousins were the same age so I was the youngest of my generation and the first of the next. Being at this position in the family put me at a distinct advantage, I was the first in line for any hand me downs, I got all the old board games or toys when cousins moved out and went off to college and their parents decided to clear out all the things they had outgrown. I got books, vinyl records and cassettes, my sisters old hi-fi stereo system and guitar, even an old sofa bed when we moved into a house where my bedroom was insanely huge and I had space for it! I even have a few suits in the wardrobe which my cousin gave me, he works in a fairly high up position in a large UK bank and doesn’t like to be seen in the same suit too often so I regularly get bags of almost new suits sent to me to choose what I like from and then I take the rest to a charity shop. I used to love going to charity shops with my Mum and her sisters when they met up once a week for a coffee and catch up. I didn’t care if something used to belong to someone else, if I liked it and could have it then that was all that mattered. The benefits of shopping in charity shops for the customer is very evident as are the financial benefits charities get from selling unwanted items donated to them. But whilst these aspects are very important it is the environmental benefits which I am particularly keen to stress here, and with that in mind I turn to a particular favourite way which I and many others use to help protect the environment – Freecycle.

Freecycle, for those who haven’t heard about it yet, is a global movement started back in 2003 with the intention of preventing usable items from going to landfill sites. A simple concept but one that has gone on to spread a very powerful message of environmental awareness and simple no strings attached generosity. Rather than throw out items that were no longer needed for whatever reason, people advertise them on their local freecycle group online and people who need or want them ask for them. The person offering the item then has two choices, either give it to someone on a first come first served basis, or they can look for someone who they consider a worthy recipient. The latter is more common when the item is of considerable value. I myself have offered many items on freecycle and have proudly found new homes for some items of mine and also benefited from the generosity of others. I gave away hundreds of books I had cherished since childhood to a local school library where they would benefit more than just one child. I gave away a mechanical medical grade single bed to the concerned children of an elderly woman who’s health was deteriorating – and they were so grateful they even gave me a very generous donation to pass on to the charity of my choice. I rehomed a train set that I loved as a kid and had kept in good condition to a guy who was a model train enthusiast and repaired and renovated train sets to gift to underprivileged kids at christmas time. I gave away half the contents of my attic during a recent clear out and it was really great to have been able to give them to people who wanted them. Conversely I have been very lucky to have received items through freecycle as well, a brand new 2 ft wooden vivarium worth £80, a guitar case, a couple of really old computers which I was able to upgrade with additional free parts and then gave away to people who could use them. I even managed to get about 5 or 6 large fish tanks for the education department at the highland wildlife park whilst I was working as a volunteer there a few years ago – and was able to use them to set up a project to raise awareness of global amphibian decline. I truly love freecycle and love that it represents all that is good in humanity, generosity, kindness and just the simple act of thinking of what you can do to help others. I recently had several household items die on me and due to a lack of money at the moment I would have had to just make do without them for a while had it not been for the generosity of friends who no longer needed items for various reasons. I am very lucky and blessed to have been fortunate enough to benefit from these items at this time and I know that had I not needed them they would have offered the items to others on freecycle or donated them to charity shops because that is just how kind and generous they are.

Recycling isn’t new but its still an amazing thing to do no matter what way you do it, whether you are simply recycling basic components such as glass or paper or gifting an item which still has a lot of life left in it to someone who needs it after you no longer have a use for it.

As with other some of my other blogs I’m going to leave you with a challenge to go out of your way to recycle, freecycle or donate to a charity 3 items above your normal recycling routine this week. Let someone else benefit from something you own and no longer need. 

In case of Tea-mergency break glass!

A great and much loved friend of mine died a few days ago and he shall be sadly missed. He was a grand old age of about 5 years old and his passing is very sad, but life must go on and tea must be made somehow so it’s time to replace him with a brand new kettle.

Now you may think that it’s a simple trip to the shops and just a case of having a look for one that you like that is within your price range but if you are really after a good kettle, there are a few key elements you want to focus on. Sometimes you have to put up with some flaws to get more of the good elements so it can take a while to find the perfect kettle.

So what are the important design elements in a great kettle?

Pourability: you want one that is a nice pourer, not one that just spills its contents out all over the place without any element of control to it! In my personal experience that means a pointier spout.

Volume: (noisiness not how much it holds) this is the one you most often have to sacrifice for the other key elements. A fast kettle that is a bit loud is always better than a slow one that is silent

Speed: for those of us who are addicted to our hot beverages you need to find one that has a rapid boil setting - no point waiting longer than you have to for the water!

Appearance: this is the most subjective of the elements but you have to like the appearance of your kettle, you will be using it a lot so you don't want to think "my god that’s ugly" every time you go to use it.

Ease of filling: simple as it sounds; you want one that isn't awkward to fill with water since you will be doing that a lot.

Concealed element: this is a must, much easier to clean than ones with an exposed coil based heating element, especially if you are in an area with hard water where lime scale is a problem.

Cordless 360-degree base: this isn't essential but it’s so much handier than the other options, especially if you are left handed and I will always pay a little more to get one if I can.

Material: cheap ones can taint the water with a nasty plastic taste, but this isn't always the case. This depends a lot on the quality and type of plastic used. Metal ones can also have the unfortunate side effect of being much hotter to the touch as the metal will conduct the heat much easier – this may be a problem for those with children or those with weak arms who may need to help steady the kettle with a second hand to be able to pour easily.

Water level indicator: you want a easy to read water level indicator if you want to be able to judge quickly if you need more or less water at a glance for when you are in a hurry. This is also particularly important if you are interested in using your kettle as energy efficiently as possible.

and finally

Comfort: this goes hand in hand with pourability, you want to have a handle that you feel is comfortable and sits at an optimum angle to ensure controllable pourability! You don't want to be left having to hold it at an awkward angle to be able to pour out a small amount of water!

I have no shame in the slightest about being so particular about the standard I like my kettle to meet, I am a tea addict and drink an obscene amount of tea on a daily basis… hell I drink an obscene amount of tea on an hourly basis! I was born to be a tea drinker and have been in training since I was just a baby, very weak milky tea was often the content of my bottle. Today my normal mug holds about a pint of tea (approximately 600ml) and its not uncommon for me to drink on average 8 of these a day! So when you drink that much tea you want the perfect kettle since it is guaranteed to have very regular use.

I will leave you with a challenge, go to your kitchen and make yourself a cup of tea and rate it out of 10 based on the information you have read here today. I bet you’ve never though much about it but you probably already have very clear opinions on the kettle you own. My most recent kettle was almost perfect, its only real flaw was a slight issue with ease of filling, and so I’m going to give it a 9.5 out of 10.

It truly was a sad day when it died and it will be a hard kettle to replace for this proud tea addict.

P.S. I Love you

I watched a film tonight for the first time since I saw it at the cinema, P.S. I Love you. For those who haven’t seen it or read the novel that it is based upon, it’s about a woman who loses her husband when he develops a brain tumour. Before he dies he writes her a series of letters and plans for them to be delivered to her one at a time after his death. He knew she would really struggle and wanted to help her through the loss himself and help her rebuild her life so she could move on. Some letters had memories he wanted her to think about, some had tasks he wanted her to complete but they all had one thing in common they all ended with the words “P.S. I Love you.”

This doesn’t usually happen in life, people often are far too scared to face their own mortality even when they are close to death themselves. I lost my Mum to cancer, she had tumours in her lung and as happens with a lot of lung cancer cases apparently it spread to her brain. She fought hard and was so ill with her chemotherapy and radiotherapy but she made it through and started to recover, it took a long time but she started to get back to normal. Unfortunately it didn’t last and her cancer came back with a vengeance as it often does when it reoccurs. She went downhill so quickly after that and so many things went unsaid, and I wish she had thought to write things down just a little note for us for when she was gone but as it was a brain tumour she started to fade before the end and that made it hard for her to write. She kept a diary – not a journal as such, just a normal daily diary for keeping track of things and she wrote in it every day what she had done or who she had seen. I read it after she died. May and Sheila visited today – brought flowers, they were lovely. Ross passed his exams, went out with friends to celebrate will be home late. Alex back in hospital but will be out on Friday. Got a letter from Ann today. Her handwriting was always so beautiful, but reading that diary you could see her fading away day by day just by watching the way that pen moved across the paper. It stopped a week or two before she died.

Dad had died as well by the time this film made it to the cinema and his death was very sudden too, it wasn’t any of his conditions that killed him – it was a bacterial infection. All those years fighting one problem after the other, open heart surgery, heart bypass, heart valve replacement, failing kidneys, dialysis and it was a simple little single celled organism that killed him and practically overnight too. I never even got to say goodbye because of interfering psychotic family members.

So watching this film with all those emotions still fresh and raw I’m not ashamed to say I cried my eyes out. It was a beautiful film and a beautiful story and I was left feeling stronger at the same time as I felt more broken than I had ever been. I cried myself to sleep that night wishing that I had gotten just one letter from them, it didn’t matter what they had said on them I just missed them so much and wanted some contact again. I felt silly for letting it get to me so much and put it down to the fact that I was depressed and dealing with what was essentially being orphaned. It doesn’t matter what age you are when you lose your parents or anyone you love for that matter its always going to feel like a part of you died as well.

My parents never wrote me letters but that doesn’t mean they didn’t love me or that they aren’t still watching over me somehow. I get little signs now and then that I take as messages from them, a song on the radio, a quote from a favourite poem or author, a shape or symbol in the most unlikely of places that caught my eye whilst I was thinking about them. This may be them showing me they are still here with me or it may be wishful thinking of a person desperately clinging to a world where things aren’t quite as hopeless as they feel sometimes, but I know one thing for sure…

A few days after I watched that film for the very first time and cried myself to sleep wishing for just one letter from my Mum I opened a box in the loft that was full of old junk looking for something which was so insignificant I don’t even remember now and in that box I found a single little piece of paper tucked away at the bottom having been there for who knows how long and on it were the following words.

To Ross, I Love you, Mum. xx

What a bunch of spoons...

1999 was the year of many fun exciting things most notably the panic about the impending technological apocalypse due to be caused by a certain damp squib also known as the millennium bug. Whilst this was happening in the real world Hollywood decided to distract us with a post apocalyptic world in The Matrix. This film was simply a work of art, breathtaking special effects and a storyline that was guaranteed to leave paranoid people all over the world wondering if there really was a spoon or if we were in fact stuck in a matrix as well. Reviewers everywhere praised the movie for its ingenuity and with global box office takings total of $463 million strongly suggests fans agreed making it a huge success.

So you are the head of a huge Hollywood film studio and your film does incredibly well, you’d be forgiven for being tempted into the world of sequels based on popularity but not these guys… they clearly went ahead and made a trilogy purely on money making ability alone and sadly this meant a dire lack of quality despite the budgets both sequels received. Now I will say this in defence of them – they were watchable and vaguely entertaining… but why bother when they were completely pointless and all about eye candy in the form of special effects. 

In the 7 years since the release of the matrix sequels I haven’t once thought “oh you know what I’d really like to see, another matrix movie” actually if I’m honest I have occasionally thought to myself as I stumbled across one of the movies on tv “thank god this never went any further than a trilogy”. Well an article on the yahoo home page today caught my eye and set in motion a cringe which several hours later I am still feeling the effects of. There are 2 more sequels in the pipeline… why oh why cruel world must we have this inflicted upon us again.

Not content with ruining the legacy of the original perfectly formed stand alone film with 2 and 3 purely with their money making greed and relying on an overdose of special effects to hide their lack of a quality storyline – the new films are apparently intended to make use of 3D film technology.

*insert second cringe here*

I am not a fan of this new wave of 3D technology for use in this way, I personally feel very ill when forced to watch 3D films (particularly fast paced action films) and have left the cinema with a 3D induced migraine roughly 80% of the time. This is not a reaction unique to me and as discussed in an article posted just yesterday by Robert Ebert (link: http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2011/01/post_4.html) this is simply because we haven’t evolved to be able to view things this way. I look forward with great delight to the day when this 3D “phase” crashes and burns like the last one, its purely a way to charge even more for ticket prices, different tv systems and other home media products. I would much rather watch an old black and white film with a well written storyline and good acting than pay through the nose for yet more of the same 3D bullets/swords/zombies jumping out the screen at me kinda trash! Sadly this is what the future most likely holds for the new matrix sequels.

Now with all that said, I would like to stand up for 3D technology here but just a little. I recently visited a local science centre visitor attraction that has made use of 3D technology to offer a 4D “ride” experience. In this case it is designed as some sort of futuristic aircraft that you take a ride on and the 3D technology is used to simulate the flight and a holographic HUD (head up display) interface whilst the 4^th dimension is created by adding smells to the room which are appropriate to the images on screen to help to fully immerse you in the illusion. Now the reason I think this works so well is that it was only something like a 5-10 minute duration which means your brain isn’t having to work so hard to process the 3D technology for so long and you are therefore less likely to suffer from any headaches, migraines or eye pain because of it. It was also done in a much more sympathetic way as the main focus is on education and not harsh fast paced action sequences.

 

When are people going to wake up and smell the overpriced migraines and realise that 3D technology may have its place in the world but not in cinemas… and hopefully they’ll realise this before Keanu Reeves tries to hit us in the face with a non-existent spoon!

Thank you for the music

There’s a reason why music was used to calm the storm and the sky fish in the Doctor Who christmas special and its clearly not just because they wanted an excuse to use welsh mezzo-soprano Katherine Jenkins. Music really is a powerful and magical thing, it can evoke long forgotten memories, feelings of sadness or joy and all in a few simple notes or bars of a song. As with many people I have always had a very special place in my heart for a lot of songs, if asked to pick a single favourite I honestly don’t think I could. I have a favourite for every purpose, every important stage in my life, every heartache and every moment of joy and I wouldn’t change them for anything no matter how sad the association.

I recently discovered that a song I found at a particularly dark place in my life and brought me a little hope and light at the end of the tunnel may have been written about the exact same thing that the song meant to me – the death of my mother and coping or not coping with the depression caused by loss. It’s a very beautiful song that speaks of the pain of loss and also the realisation that you are not coping or enjoying life any more and wanting to start rebuilding your life again. I found it odd but also particularly significant that I should stumble upon a song like this and connect so deeply to the lyrics and such clear and powerful emotion being conveyed at this time in my life, but given my history of falling in love with songs instantly I just accepted it and moved on knowing that I had added yet another song to my ever growing list. Here I am three years later and I finally discover that it was written by someone who was probably feeling the exact same things I was feeling, thinking the exact same things that I was thinking and you can really feel it in the words and the way every ounce of the song feels like it comes straight from the heart of a broken man.

I could take this moment to tell you what the song is, who the artist is or even link to a video to let you hear it, but that isn’t important because it won’t make any difference because its my song and no matter what I hear or feel when I put it on – it won’t be the same for you. This isn’t a personal attack to anyone reading this, its simply the truth and the reason it is true is a point I’ve already raised – we all have songs that make us laugh, smile, cry or spark that last little piece of hope we have for a happy ending. This song is mine, others may also share it and I truly love the thought that others may also have found hope or solace in this song.

Go stick on a song that means something to you and smile or cry, it doesn’t matter which – just enjoy it and appreciate it for everything it represents to you and maybe even take a moment to say thank you to the person or people who wrote it and made it possible for you to feel this way.

Wooden elephants are stalking me...

I've always found carved wooden animals fun and when done well really beautiful. I had a collection of wooden antelopes/gazelle as a kid - they seemed to be all the rage at some point (presumably in the seventies or eighties) and every car boot sale or charity shop I was dragged to had countless numbers of them and they were always dirt cheap so I decided to start a herd of wooden animals! A few years went by and I seem to recall getting to about 30 or 40 strong herd of wooden antelopes and gazelle... I even found a warthog and a crane/stork thing. Then the inevitable happened - we moved house and as part of the move I was told it was time to get rid of the herd so I gave in and donated the whole collection to a charity shop and never looked back.


Now I know what you are thinking, what does this have to do with wooden elephants stalking me - well this is what happened over the last few days.

Recently I started to decided to go with a more geeky random sciencey/museum like decor theme at home and along with old wooden tiki's and carved boats and bowls that used to belong to my parents, my various buddha statues and preserved insects - I thought it would be nice to get a few wooden animals again - not a full herd but one or two really nice pieces to fit with the new theme. But as with all things the perfect items have to be stumbled upon and can't be forced into existence!

I went into a charity shop on monday this week that I have been in only a few times as I know its a pretty rubbish one, but on monday I felt drawn to it for some reason and the first thing I noticed upon walking in the door was the most beautiful carved wooden african elephant - I don't think i've ever seen a more perfect carved elephant in my whole life. Only about 4 inches tall and about 6 or 7 inches long and a lovely warm rich wood. It wasn't priced and I dreaded asking as it looked like the kind of thing they would charge a fortune for as it was so beautiful but I had to have it so I picked it up and asked the old lady who was in charge of the till and she told me that it was a very expensive elephant, rare collectors piece and that she'd have to charge me the extortionate price of 50p for it! I actually laughed out loud, the old bat really made me smile with her sense of humour!

After the successful find on monday I decided to have a look on ebay just to see what other wooden animals there might be that I liked the look of and found a carved indian elephant that was very pretty but not worth the £30 price tag - partly because I don't have that kind of money right now but also largely because I don't like them as much as I like african elephants. However the universe clearly has a strange sense of humour as well because today I had some time to kill whilst waiting on a bus so I went into another charity shop I never go into because it too is usually absolute rubbish and often has a very strange old dead lady smell to it. But I was drawn to the shop and could barely believe my eyes when I walked in the door and the first thing I laid eyes on was a wooden indian elephant! almost completely identical to the one I spotted on ebay less than 24 hours earlier and yet again without a price on it so I crossed my fingers and wandered up to the till elephant in hand (feeling a very strange sense of deja vu) and thankfully yet again it was a delightfully extortionate £1 price tag!

So it would seem that I have wooden elephants stalking me, I wonder whether this is restricted to pretty pachyderms or if i've got a whole wooden migration of ark proportions heading my way?

New start for a new year

Well its a new year and as cliched as it might be... time for a new start in the blog world. This blog will hopefully be an entertaining ride through the weird and wonderful land that is my brain! so sit back relax and please ensure all seatbelts are securely fastened and that you keep your arms and belongings inside the blog at all times

Roostarr aka Ross